Cultivating Relationships—It Starts with a Growth Mindset
Relationships—whether personal or professional—aren’t something you set and forget. They require ongoing care and attention. In our fast-paced business world, it’s easy to assume that once you’ve built a connection, it will sustain itself. But the truth is, every relationship needs a bit of TLC.
One of the most overlooked but powerful ways to nurture relationships is through bids for connection—those everyday moments where we seek attention, affirmation, or emotional support from others. Whether it’s a colleague sharing an idea in a meeting, a leader checking in on their team, or a business partner offering feedback, these small exchanges shape the foundation of our professional relationships.
The Role of a Growth Mindset in Relationship Building
In my recent work on “The Art of Cultivating Relationships,” I learned that adopting a growth mindset is the first critical step. This means:
✔ Letting go of the idea that you know best. Every interaction presents an opportunity to see the world from another’s perspective.
✔ Being willing to experiment—even if it means making mistakes. Relationships evolve, and so should your approach to maintaining them.
✔ Embracing mistakes as valuable learning opportunities. If a conversation doesn’t go as planned, reflect, adjust, and try again.
But mindset alone isn’t enough. You also need practical strategies to reinforce and strengthen your relationships.
Understanding “Bids” and Why They Matter
Dr. John Gottman, a leading relationship expert, introduced the concept of bids for connection—small verbal or nonverbal cues that signal a desire to connect. These bids can be as simple as:
👉 A colleague saying, “I had a tough morning.”
👉 A team member seeking feedback on their work.
👉 A manager asking, “How was your weekend?”
How we respond to these bids determines the quality of our relationships. According to Gottman’s research, strong relationships are built when people consistently turn toward these bids rather than ignoring or rejecting them.
How This Applies in the Workplace
In a business setting, recognizing and responding to bids fosters trust, collaboration, and engagement. Consider these workplace scenarios:
✅ A team member shares a new idea in a meeting. A growth mindset leader doesn’t dismiss it outright but instead asks questions and explores its potential.
✅ A colleague expresses frustration about a project. Instead of brushing it off, acknowledge their feelings and offer support or solutions.
✅ An employee hesitates before speaking up. Pay attention to nonverbal cues—sometimes, a bid is subtle, like a pause in conversation or a change in tone.
Take Action: Strengthen Your Professional Relationships This Week
This week, challenge yourself to be more intentional in recognizing and responding to bids in your workplace interactions. Ask yourself:
🤔 Am I open to learning from my interactions with colleagues, clients, and partners?
🤔 How often do I turn toward, rather than away from, bids for connection?
🤔 What small adjustment can I make to strengthen my workplace relationships?
By approaching relationships with curiosity and openness, you’re better equipped to adapt and grow alongside your team. A single moment of connection—a well-placed question, a moment of active listening, or a small gesture of encouragement—can make all the difference.